So Long And Goodnight
by allthingspuckleberryandfaberry
Summary: After Brittany's rejection, Santana does the unthinkable.  Contains her note and a twist at the end.  Spoilers for 2x15.  Brittana with a bit of Fuinn and Puckleberry mentioned.  One-shot, unless people show interest.  T for disturbing thoughts.


**So Long And Goodnight**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Nor do I own Santana or Brittany or the rights to the song that this story is named after, Helena (So Long And Goodnight) by My Chemical Romance.**

**Summary: Santana's suicide note after Brittany turns her down. She writes to everyone, but especially to Britt; one-shot. Not a happy ending; there is also a twist at the end. Brittana, obviously. Also shows Brittany's reaction to San's death and her suicide note. Spoilers for 2x15, **_**Sexy**_**. AU, obviously.**

**Warning: contains suicide and slight, slight language.**

**A/N: So right now I'm supposed to be researching stuff for my History project, but the topic I have is kind of hard and I wanted to take a break from attempting to find information. I've had this idea in my head ever since I saw 'Sexy' and didn't put it on paper (or rather, Microsoft Word) until now. I hope you guys like it—tell me what you think. Brittana forever! Enjoy.**

~.~

Santana sat down at the desk in her bedroom and momentarily stared out her window to gaze at the sunset. Knowing that this would be her last view of the red-orange glow in the distance made her sad in a way, but after all, she was more depressed than ever. So what did it matter if she would never see a sunset from Earth again? At least she would be happy, in Heaven or wherever she went.

Sighing, the Latina opened her drawer to find what she was looking for: her favorite blue notebook and pink pen. Santana figured that it would be easier to do this in pink ink, since pink is such an upbeat color. Because it might take away from the distraught feeling of the note. And because pink was Brittany's favorite color.

She didn't want to start crying over Britt again, yet she needed _some_ form of closure. And using a color of ink that was the favorite color of the girl she loved was good enough for Santana.

So, she opened the notebook to the first clean page she saw and just started writing. She didn't expect the words to come _that_ easily to her, but surprisingly, they did. Santana guessed that since it was the last thing she would ever write, it was only meant to be that this wasn't too difficult for her to get off her chest.

When she was finally finished, Santana re-read the letter three times, folded it up, put it in an envelope, titled the envelope 'To anybody that cares' and left the envelope on her desk. She reached into her jacket pocket to make sure that the purple bottle of pain medication was still there and took it out.

Just as the sun set, the brunette took the twenty pills in groups of five, and then sank down on her suddenly comfy bed as darkness and sleep surrounded her.

~.~

**Santana's Suicide Note**:

_To anybody that cares:_

_Dear people who decided to read this,_

_How do I begin? Do I explain how I did it, where I got the stuff I needed, or why I did it? Or do I say my goodbyes first? I suppose that I'll just start with what I've got off the top of my head and go from there._

_Yeah, I know. You'd never expect that me, strong and hard-headed Santana, to commit suicide. I mean, really, most of you viewed my life as great (or probably did). And I'm not saying this to be a bitch, but it's true. Most of the Freshman cheerleaders look up to me, tell me that I'm a great performer and will most likely win an award some day. Oh, how I wish that were true. Anyway, you most likely expected that Berry would be the one to commit suicide and leave an over-dramatic letter, because that's just who she is. And most people are too afraid of what they might find to even consider the seemingly impossible._

_How did I do it? Well, that's simple. I took a bottle of pills (twenty, actually) from my dad's medicine cabinet and swallowed them all within minutes. It was really peaceful, and I did it whilst the sun was setting. And you know what? For the first time in my life, I had felt God's presence. Like, I know everybody always says that you'll go to Hell if you commit suicide, but I believe otherwise. I believe that if you have a good enough reason and don't just do it to do it, then God will take care of you. He always will._

_Know for why I did it. Now, Brittany, if you're reading this, do NOT think that this is all your fault, for turning me down after I confessed that I loved and wanted to be with you. No, that was just the final catalyst, the final event that sent me spiraling into a world of internal pain and suffering. The rest of it, had been building up over the years. There was the combined memory of when my mom died, and also when my uncle hit me. Don't worry, he never did it again, but it stuck with me all these years. And even when I'm in Heaven, it probably still will._

_Look, I know I'm a total bitch. And yeah, I probably don't deserve for you guys to listen to me. But I just want you to hear me out, to listen to these last goodbyes and apologies. Not for me, but for you; you guys deserve it, especially my best friend Brittany. I suppose I'll start with the easiest, Finn._

_Finn, please don't ask how you're the easiest to say goodbye to. Just know that even though we only slept together once (and it definitely could have been more pleasurable for the both of us), I really do like you. Or did, whatever tense this letter should be in. But I really want you to understand that I did not sleep with you to make Rachel jealous. I slept with you because I was hurting, more than ever, and you were some hot piece of ass (please excuse my language). And no, this does not mean that I just used you. It means that I truly believed that you could help me. But you couldn't, and I am sorry that I destroyed your relationship with Rachel. Although, I truly don't believe she's the right girl for you; I one hundred percent believe that Quinn is. I think Rachel belongs with someone else. Buuut, I'll address this later. So bye, Finn Hudson. Have a nice life. And I'm not being a bitch; I one hundred percent mean it._

_On the mention of Quinn, here's your goodbye/apology. Look, Quinn, I know we've had our ups and downs, our twists and turns, our bumps in the road. But no matter what, I'll still love you like a sister. Because that's what you are; a sister to me. And no matter how cold-hearted you get, or how many mistakes you make, I will still love you and hold you in my heart forever. Just do one last thing for me: give Finn another shot. You two were great together, and neither of you have been truly happy since. Please, for me? And for you. But no matter whether or not you take my advice, I'll still love you. Love ya, Quinn Fabray. You take care._

_Sam Evans. I didn't really know you that well, but I did date you and I do know that you were a perfect gentleman and were so nice to me, despite the fact that you were just getting out of a really serious relationship with Quinn. And this shows character. Furthermore, I'm sorry if I've upset you by saying that Finn and Quinn should be together. I didn't mean to make you mad, this is truly what I believe. I do think, however, that you'll find your girl. Someday. Sam Evans, goodbye and good luck in the dating world. When I next see you, I hope to hear all about your new love._

_Lauren Zizes. Same as Evans, I don't know you that well, so this should be brief. Now, I know you can be a very cold-hearted person (no offense there, I was cold-hearted too), but please try to at least have some sympathy for me. I've been through a lot, more than you could ever understand. But anyway, you seem like a nice enough person. Oh and by the way, I may say some stuff to Puck that you may not like. Sorry if I offend you. Goodbye Lauren, you have a nice life also._

_Mike, Tina, and Artie, you guys are next. I decided to do all of you together, since I don't really have much to say to you. Artie, I'm sorry for all of the times I made fun of you for being a crip. I truly think you have a great voice. Do me a favor, and take care of Brittany for me, will ya? She loves you just as much as I love her, I think. So just know that if you ever dump her, I'll come back and haunt you. I mean it. Tina, I think you have a pretty good voice too, and you need to let it shine through you. You need to be more confident. Mike, you too. I know you're not that great of a singer, but you're a phenomenal dancer, and you can express that talent. Also, don't let Tina go. She loves you, and you love her, and believe me you don't want to life without love. I know what that's like, and let me tell you, it sucks. So badly. Take care, the three of you._

_Mr. Schue, I suppose you're up next. I wanted to say goodbye to Glee club, and you're just as much a part of Glee club as all of us students are. First of all, I think you should get back together with control freak Guidance Counselor Miss Pillsbury. I heard from Miss Holiday that she still loves you. And you know what, I can tell that you still love her, so give it a shot. You might just find what you're looking for. Second of all, you're a great teacher. Now, you may not be great at solving problems, but you sure knew how to make a girl smile. For that, I thank you. Have fun with Miss Pillsbury!_

_Mercedes Jones. Now, I may not have too much to say to you, but I do know one thing: you have so much confidence and such an amazing voice, and girl, you're such a diva that you're awesome. Rock on, sister. Don't give up hope, I'll be watching over you. Goodbye and good luck with your career!_

_Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Sure, I humiliated you many times and also called you a fag. But guess what? That's OK that you're gay. After all, I'm gay. And even if I wasn't, I would still accept you for who you are. Also, I heard you like this Blaine kid. Well, you've always gotten what you wanted (or wait maybe that's Man-Hands I'm thinking of), so what are you waiting for? Go out there and get him to fall in love with you! Have fun on Broadway!_

_Puckerman. Noah Puckerman. Puck. Puckzilla. The Puckerone. The Puckster. The Puckmeister. The Puckasaurus. There are so many nicknames for you, it makes my head spin. Literally. Look, I've written this to you to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all those times that I've deterred you from seeing who you should really be with because of my selfishness. I opened my legs for you when I knew that what I should really be doing was guiding you through the path to get to Rachel. Yeah, you read right, I'm Team Puckleberry. Whatever, don't make fun of me for it. Or do. It's your call, seeing as I can haunt you any time I please. Anyway, please oh please dump this Lauren chick. She is _not_ right for you. Remember when I had a throw-down with her? You know why? Well, I wanted to stick up for Rachel, to get you to see that really you're just dating Lauren because a) you want to make yourself seem less shallow to Rachel, and b) you want Rachel but you're afraid she'll turn you down. And no, I haven't just assumed this like I've assumed quite a lot of things. Nah, you told me this _while you were drunk_. At Berry's House Party. So go ahead, and go for it. I know you love Rachel, and I know she loves you too, because she admitted that she wanted to be with you when she was drunk, too. Good luck and have a nice life with Berry!_

_Ah, Rachel. God, so many of these goodbyes have to do with you. And no, this goodbye will no be bitchy, because unlike popular belief, I don't want to go out with a bang. Nah, I just want closure. First of all, I am _so_ sorry for destroying your relationship with Finn. I meant what I said before about not doing it with him just to make you jealous. I truly looked to him for help. But you know what? No matter how sorry I am about it, I'm glad that I deterred you from that relationship. So you could focus on the one you should totally be with: Puck, or Noah to you. Like I said before, I'm Team Puckleberry, and I totally believe in you guys. And don't even pretend for one minute that you didn't tell me you love and want to be with him at your House Party, because I know you did. I hope you find love and happiness with him. Take care, Rachel. I truly mean it._

_Brittany. Oh, B. Britt, what can I say? I love you too frickin' much for words. I only wish and hope and dream that we could be together. But we can't, because you chose and Artie. And because I'm now, as you are reading this, dead. Death. It's a word that none of us truly understands. And Britt, I know you're not the sharpest crayon in the box, but you surely understand death. I know you do, since you surely understood it when your dog died. So there's no reason why you shouldn't understand it now. B, you are seriously the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Without you, my life was in ruins. But then I found you, and I was so, so happy. I wanted to be with you so badly for the longest time but I never had the guts to go through with the process of telling you. And now it's too late. For the both of us. But just know that it is not your fault. It will never be your fault. Sure, your rejection nearly killed me, but I am the one who is doing this tonight. It's all me, B. All me. I love you so, so much. I hope you know and realize this. I also hope you know and realize that you should stay with Artie. You do love him, I know you do. So make him happy. Be happy. Don't worry about me, because while you're reading this, I'm in a better place: Heaven. I'll see you here later. Love you. So, so very much._

_I think that I should leave the note here. It just seems right, you know? Anyway, you guys take care of yourselves. You surely deserve it._

_Yours forever,_

_Santana Lopez_

~.~

It had been two months.

Two months since Santana's dad found her, in her room, dead and overdosed on pain medication.

Two months since Glee club had gathered around to read the letter that the Latina so carefully constructed.

Two months since Finn and Quinn gave it another shot, resulting in what was now love again.

Two months since Puck broke up with Lauren to be with Rachel.

Two months since Rachel accepted.

Two months since Rachel learned she was pregnant (seriously, what was it with Puck and babies?) and decided that if it was a girl, she would name her Caroline, and if it was a boy he'd be Elijah.

Two months since Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury admitted they still loved each other, got back together, and slept together (resulting in yet another pregnancy). They got married immediately after learning that she was pregnant. The names they picked out were Violet and Patrick.

Two months since Sam and Lauren decided to go out (shocker, huh?)

And two months since the janitor found Brittany, hanged, in his closet, her own suicide note colored in red crayon and left on Mr. Schue's desk.

~.~

**I'll bet you guys didn't see that ending coming! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed. Please review. Love you all!**


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